Change

These past few weeks have been a time of transition and adjustments for me. Unfortunately, I have still not found a full time teaching position yet, which would have been ideal and what I was hoping for... especially with school loans to be paid off looming in the distance as well as getting married next summer.

However, God has been teaching me SO much! One of the biggest things He has taught me is to trust Him. Completely. With everything in me. As those of you who know me really well know... I am just about the biggest worrier and perfectionist there is... at least in my city. :) I LOVE schedules and to-do lists. I love being able to plan ahead. In other words, change is not my favorite. With school in session and me not having a job, it has been a BIG change. Life so far has not been what I had expected. After graduation, I "planned" on being able to have my own classroom, gain experience as a teacher, and make some money to put towards school loans and to save up for married expenses. It has not gone even remotely the way that I pictured it would.

However, I also know that Isaiah 55:9 says, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." God obviously has a different plan in mind for this season of my life than I had for myself. It is both scary and comforting. Scary because the human side of me screams, "How will I pay bills? How will I ever find a job? What if I don't make "enough" money? Is there something WRONG with me?" Oh, how I wish my flesh wasn't so weak sometimes. But in the chaos going on inside my head, the Lord has been whispering His own words into my heart. "You are good enough. I am using this season to mold you, shape you, and prepare you for something greater in the future. You need only to let go and trust me."

I am constantly reminded of one of my favorite passages of Scripture... which of course is on worry. :) Matthew 26:6-7 says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" What a breath of fresh air. If God meets the birds needs, why wouldn't He, as my Heavenly Father, meet mine? God doesn't always give us what we "want", but instead gives us what we NEED.

So... in this season of life, I choose to trust. To be patient. To be thankful. To wait on the Lord. He is faithful forever. And I know that when the time is right, He will provide.